Hoping for a miracle….
There have been a few decent nights lately with my boyfriend. He drank, but not so much that he got more annoying than I can handle. Last night though, we were having a good night and then BOOM! Another argument erupted. Money was the issue but the topic wasn’t what mattered most. It was a few things he said that just drove the nail deeper in the coffin. After the argument as I lay in bed trying to calm down and sleep, I realized I may have to end this relationship sooner than I wanted to – money or not. But, I think I have a plan if that has to happen. It won’t be easy. None of this is easy. Five years ago I feel deeply in love with this man that I can barely stand to look at now. And I hate, HATE, conflict! So, until I can build up my courage and bank account or until all hell breaks loose, I will continue acting this part of being a good girlfriend to this spoiled narcissistic man. I just wish I could have seen through his act in the beginning. I practically BEGGED this man to fall in love with me….. Wow. And on top of it all, I can’t seem to be the kind of mother I pray to be. I have even been arguing daily with my 10 year old daughter who I have raised and now have to admit is also spoiled and on the verge of narcissistic. For someone who is completely terrified of conflict, it is ALL around me and I hope I can make it through this phase of my life.
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